How To Take Back Control Of Your Life (Written By A Girl With A Triforce of Mental Illnesses.)

I started this blog last year, and I remember telling myself that I was going to dedicate myself to this project with the hopes of someday monetizing it in order to make more of a living as a writer.

Then the downward spiral happened :( and after that, I sort of lost the motivation to really do anything.

It was hard losing my passion for so many things I cared about because I spent so much of my time trying to make those things not only my job but making it the only things in my life that I focused on. The burnout from not only trying to write as many articles for this blog as possible but also focusing on many other writing goals at the same time caused me to no longer care about the things that used to be my passion.

On top of trying to turn my passions into my job on top of an unhealthy work and life balance, many other things in my mental health began to take a downward spiral. I started eating less, and when I was eating, it was unhealthy. I isolated myself in my small NYC apartment, and I lost the motivation to even get up in the mornings.

When lost in those moments, it was really hard for me to care about anything that I once loved doing. Seeing friends, going out, writing, reading, etc. Nothing else in my life

seemed important, and I convinced myself that putting my sweat and tears into my passions didn't matter, because in the future, I was only going to be a failure.I kept comparing myself to people on the internet who seemed to have their lives put together, but instead of motivating myself to get better, I told myself that life would never be mine and crawled back into the sheets of my bed that I lived in.

The dark hole I found myself in is familiar to many people. The saying "we are our worst critics" doesn't exactly stick until we are the ones experiencing it, and the longer we find ourselves falling down the rabbit hole, the more the light starts to fade away and disappear.

That doesn't mean it's gone forever, and the hardest part, which doubles as the first step in this blog post, is reminding yourself of that. It's not easy to crawl out of the hole we have fallen in, but that doesn't mean we'll be stuck down there forever.

I wanted to share some new habits I picked up that have helped me take back control of the life my depression and anxiety tried to steal from me, as well as hopefully motivate others to do the same so they can fight back against their own inner struggles.

I want to make it clear that this isn't me saying my habits work for everyone, and I'm not saying anything happens overnight. There is a reason the most helpful changes are called "Lifestyle Changes," it's because they are meant to be applied to your lifestyle. Battling back against the voices that continue to remind you that you are not enough isn't easy, and it takes more time than just a few days to find the self-worth you long believed to be lost, and even then, it's not going to disappear forever.

But I'll talk more about that when it's time. For now, I want to share some daily reminders and tricks that helped me find a balance in my life.

Eating Right

"Wow omg, another basic white girl sharing about how eating healthy is good for you, bla bla bla."

Yes, I know. Being told eating healthy is important is a piece of advice that has been drilled into our brains since before we even knew how a microwave works. Ever since we were kids we have been taught that eating right is the most important thing for both our bodies and our minds. It's a universal piece of information that sounds easier on paper fun fact.

But take this from a girl who used to use Doordash religiously, and ate nothing but fast food every other day for months on end. What you put in your body is like, the biggest and most important change you can make when it comes to glowing up your mind and soul.

Health junkies always like to talk about a balanced diet, but I didn't quite understand what that meant until I started incorporating it into the meals I ate. Eating healthier is the biggest game changer when it comes to setting a healthier pace for your mind.

When I say a balanced diet though, what do I mean by that? Well, I mean ensuring that the meals that you eat throughout your day cover all the important food groups. Including, protein, fat, fruits etc.

The benefits that come with incorporating all these food groups into your meals are maintaining a consistent weight, which comes with cutting out processed food and sugar from your diet, and improving your mental health, as a balanced and healthy diet can help maintain your energy levels. This also helps with keeping a healthy sleep schedule, which believe me, take it from someone who used to go to bed at two in the morning and wake up at noon, a proper diet can help fix an unhealthy sleep schedule.

Besides, eating healthy comes with the added bonus of not only learning how to cook new recipes but also cooking in general. I discovered through improving my diet a new passion for cooking and learning and looking up new recipes. Not only that, but it helps me save money since I am no longer constantly eating out.

Eating right is the closest thing to being on drugs that aren't drugs because you feel amazing once you do it. I can no even describe how freeing your mind will feel after not only preparing yourself a healthy meal but eating it at the same time. It's the best motivation in the world, and you feel incredible after doing it.

Consistent Exercise

Back when I was in college I used to exercise often because I was taking frequent dance classes. It wasn't anything hardcore, but I was moving my body very frequently every week. But just shortly after graduating college, I lost the motivation to work due to a rapid change in both my schedule and lifestyle.

That's one of the biggest struggles people with ADHD have, which is unfortunately

something I have dealt with for years. People with ADHD often need a routine to keep their minds concentrated, and once that schedule is thrown off balance, it's often hard to get back on track because everything is suddenly so new and different. This was what happened to me after graduating college. My schedule wasn't the same, I was living in a new place, and all of a sudden I no longer knew how to rewrite my life. I had already adjusted to the schedule the college put me on, you're telling me I have to adjust to something new again?

And with the insecurities, I was experiencing when it came to the new weight I was gaining after graduation due to no longer moving my body, I didn't feel comfortable working out again because I already felt bad about myself. Looking in the mirror hurt, but I was embarrassed to work out again because A. I already didn't have a consistent routine, B. I didn't know what I was doing or where to start when it came to working out again, and C. lack of motivation and a self-deprecating mindset prevented me from even trying to get started.

Changing that came with the reminder that these kinds of things are not meant to have an easy start, and the day I started working out again, the stronger I realized that. But I also knew that people said the first day was hard for a reason, and after some research, I found a workout program that I liked and decided to give it a try, mostly because the website had a schedule with an ADHD person such as myself needed and enjoyed.

The first day of getting back into it kicked me in the butt. I was really embarrassed that I couldn't get through most of the videos without needing to take long breaks. When I first started, it took me two hours to get through a workout. But there's a quote from a show called Bo-Jack Horseman that I really like that serves as a good reminder and motivator to keep going.

"Every day it gets a little easier… But you gotta do it every day — that’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”

I have to be so honest, I am still not consistent when it comes to working out. Every time I miss something in my schedule, I am so hard on myself and lack so much energy to get started again. Sometimes I still catch myself saying that missing a day makes me lazy and that there's no point in trying to get back on track because I already missed a day in my routine, so what's the point?

Silly toxic ADHD brain, you aren't going to be perfect every single day!

The people you see on the internet who constantly post themselves working out have been doing it consistently for years! It's not meant to be a habit that's going to be picked up overnight. Take a breath, relax, and pick yourself back up again. The more you stick with it, the easier it gets. Your balanced routine isn't going to click overnight, and the moment it finally does is when the results start coming in.

I'm not saying you have to do intense cardio every day. That's not something you NEED to do. But you should at least take time out of your day to move your body. Whether that's doing some morning stretching, going on a daily walk outside, bedtime yoga, whatever. Getting some movement in your body is the biggest boost of energy it needs to go throughout the day. And if you want to try getting into working out consistently, I'm going to recommend this blog I've been following by ChloeTing. The exercises can be intense, but the more you do it, the more amazing you feel.

And again, you don't need to be a gym junkie to be healthy or move your body. A small daily stretch can make all the difference. People work out for a variety of reasons, and one of my main ones was getting back into shape I just picked up a love for doing it consistently. So here's an important reminder that if you also want to workout to tone your body and get into shape, nothing happens overnight. Consistency combined with nutrition is the biggest key when it comes to getting the results you want. Just a little food for thought.

But once again, it's not a requirement. You can literally just go on a cute twenty-minute walk outside, and achieve the same mindset. That's certainly what I've been doing, and I find it just as rewarding as when I exercise. You do what you feel is best for your mind and body. You are the one who knows it best. Don't let anyone shame you into thinking it needs to be one way or the other.

Reminding Yourself You Are More Than What Your Body Looks Like

Life Is So Much Easier Throwing Away Food Rules

While on the topic of food and exercise, I want to dedicate a section that briefly tackles the unhealthy mindset we often find ourselves in when trying to maintain both of the things I mentioned above.

When I say eating right, I don't just mean having a healthy balance of fruits and other foods. I mean taking the time to stop and recognize when your body needs food.

This is not something I take or share lightly, because when you're so trapped in the mental cages of your mind, you don't even realize that you are doing it. You don't realize that you are trapped in an unhealthy eating cycle until it's sometimes too late.

Again, this is not something I share lightly, but one of the biggest contributors to my unhealthy mindset came with the way I saw my body. I struggled with my self-image and the way I looked, and often couldn't look at myself in the mirror without getting sick to my stomach because I absolutely hated the way I looked. I didn't like my belly fat and forced myself into unhealthy habits to try and fix it.

As I mentioned earlier, my struggles when it came to my weight started after college. I wasn't going out and moving my body... ever, I wasn't eating right, and my diet consisted of nothing my processed food and sugar, and as a result, my self-image started rapidly declining because I hated looking at myself in the mirror.

So at the time I did the one thing I thought would fix everything. I ate less. I starved myself in the belief it would fix my weight and started my downward spiral. I saw food as calories instead of nutrients and shamed myself every time I ate a small piece of chocolate, and once I realized what I was doing, It was so hard to stop. My body was so used to not only having a lack of food, but unhealthy meals whenever I did. I didn't know how to fix it.

People rob themselves of food for a variety of different reasons, and not everyone struggles with food the same. But for me, the main reasons why I held off on food were:

1. Insecurities About My Weight

After I graduated from college, I started exercising less and eating more unhealthy foods. Without being in school, I lost track of a routine, and with my life being altered in such a huge way, my mind struggled to keep up with the spiral that was overtaking it.

Without physical activity, as well as my body correctly changing due to just, you know... BEING A WOMAN, I ate less with the hope of getting back the body I once had in high school and in my teens. I couldn't bring myself to look in a mirror without shaming my belly fat, and as a result, every time I ate something I would shame myself for losing progress on losing weight.

Hey but here's a fun fact about the female body that a lot of young girls don't know, including myself. IT CHANGES ALL THE TIME.

Of course, many young women are the unfortunate prisoners of poor gut health, which is also something I was cursed with, and nothing a consistent balanced diet, exercise, and digestive medication couldn't fit, but I don't think many girls were ever taught in health class that the female body is subjected to change all the time.

Here's something that might be a little gross but did you know there are four cycles in a menstruation cycle? I didn't until literally a few months ago, and for those of you who still don't know, here they are.

• Menstrual: This is the phase that everyone knows about where we are on our period, and our hormones and estrogen levels drop.

• Follicular: This is the stage where we are feeling our best and usually lasts 11 to 27 days. We feel stronger and happier and our bodies have more energy during this stage. We also bloat less.

• Ovulation: This is when our body starts to swell again once our pituitary gland releases a hormone called LH.

• Luteal: THE WORST AHHH. This is when our body has less energy, we have more cravings, and our bloating reaches its peak as we break out more.

So yea, I promise all you young girls out there that you aren't gaining weight. Being a woman is just the worst and our bodies are subjected to change every few weeks If anything, it means your body is healthy when it's bloating, and again, this is something I didn't know for the longest time. I literally just thought I was gaining weight back after eating something I "wasn't supposed to"

But even with the knowledge that our bodies change all the time, consistent belly fat is often the result of poor gut health, which as I mentioned, is nothing I couldn't tone down with a balanced diet, exercise, and some digestive medications that helped me properly digest the food I was eating. Keep in mind also that no medication works overnight. If your body changes overnight, it means you are taking something that isn't healthy.

2. I Saw Food As Both A Reward and A Punishment

On top of depriving myself of eating in order to lose weight, I didn't need to shed, I suffered from a poor work/life balance, and as a result, I went hours without eating because I told myself I didn't earn the right to eat unless I finished what I was working on. Whether that was a chapter, an article, or whatever else I needed to get done in my day.

When I wasn't doing that, if I failed in my goals, or did something I saw was unfit, I would punish myself by not eating.

past Holly, that's kinda not good for you.

Hey did you guys know that food=energy, and the less food we eat the less energy our mind gets? Because for the longest time, I didn't, and even when I finally recognized that it took me a long time to stop depriving myself of food.

I know these are sensitive subjects, but once we are trapped in an unhealthy eating schedule, it's almost impossible to break out of. I didn't even realize what I was doing was bad until I broke down one night after depriving myself of ordering groceries.

As I mentioned above, your body needs food for your mind to have enough energy throughout the day. When you're depriving your body of food, it's not going to produce enough metabolism, which is how your body turns calories into energy. By not feeding your body, you aren't producing enough metabolism, which means you aren't getting enough energy, and thus, your body stores extra weight to keep your body alive and functioning.

Not eating enough, or going hours without eating, was what caused my often inconsistent mood cycles and caused me to lose most of my motivation, because I was exhausted all of the time from depriving my body of energy.

I was forced to confront and tell myself that eating one meal a day wasn't good for me, but it took so long to shake off the insecurities that came with eating more because I kept telling myself it was going to make me fat.

But as all the wise ones say: you don't gain weight in one meal, and you don't lose it in one either. As I said before it's all about a balanced diet. And it took me so long of trying and failing to get my life back on track, that I started caring less about who was looking back at me in the mirror.

The human body, and more specifically the female body, is meant to be inconsistent. Growing up means change, and it doesn't mean you are any less deserving of looking stunning in your clothes, having a sweet treat every now and again, or the love you think you won't have unless you are "conventionally attractive." I keep saying this, but it truly is all about balance. One life hack to follow to remind yourself of this is the 80/20 rule. Spend 80% of your life on healthy habits, eating right, and moving your body, and the other 20% on the occasional dessert and bed rotting day.

Your soul is worth so much more than what you look like. So, guys, it's okay to have a treat every now and again. It's okay to stay in bed when you really don't feel like getting up. Shaming yourself for giving your body a rest day or treating yourself will just force you back into the cage of mental anxiety you were just trying to escape. Again, you will not be perfect every day, and you shouldn't have to be. It really is okay to wake up and decided not to give a crap about anything.

I'm not at all trying to shame anyone who is currently trapped in an unhealthy cycle of eating or physical activity. Walking those paths is still linear, and I am not perfect, not at all actually. I know what it's like to shame myself for eating something with sugar or skipping a day of physical activity. I know what it's like to go hours and days without a proper meal in hopes I will lose weight because of it. But our bodies are our defining feature, and I promise you that the sooner you acknowledge it, the better you are going to feel.

Finding A Good Work-Life Balance

I Tend To Romantize Where I Work To Better My Mental Health

I used to tell myself every day that if I wasn't working on my writing, I was lazy, and such a thought caused me to burn myself out when it came to trying to get things done.

There's a reason I have been so inconsistent with this blog it's because I tried to write six articles in a day, on top of my work as a self-published indie author, and I was trying to do all of those things on top of keeping up with my work schedule.

I don't think I need to tell you what the result of trying to do so many things at once was.

Not many people talk about how hard it is to maintain a healthy, balanced schedule when it comes to being self-employed. As a writer, I find myself dedicating hours of my day to my work without taking the time needed to rest my body. Every time I tried to take a rest day I would tell myself that I was lazy and unmotivated for not working. Which just isn't true.

Of course, it's important, especially if you are self-employed. But at the same time, your mind can only take on so many tasks at once. Refusing to give your mind time it needs to rejuvenate and rest is what leads to burnout, and once you crash and burn, it's so hard to get back on track. That was one of the main reasons I couldn't keep up with this blog so soon after starting, and one of the main reasons I couldn't motivate myself to write for my books or even for fun. I dedicated myself to trying to make all of these things my job and lost my passion for them along the way. I had no idea what I was doing, and thus, I found it easier to stop because I couldn't even stand to do the work anymore.

Photo by @amelyakreads

Sure, dedicating hours to your work without stopping is impressive, but it stops the moment you're robbing your mind of breaks. Those are still important. Putting the work down in order to watch a movie, scroll through TikTok, or do anything else doesn't make you lazy. It makes you a real human being whose mind needs rest from all of the work you are doing.

Of course, coming from someone who is once again self-employed and has ADHD, it's also important to keep your priorities on track. I suffer from consistent distractions, and it's often hard for my mind to re-motivate itself once it's fallen off. But, say it with me now, it's all about balance, that's right, good job.

I bring up the 80/20 rule again. Dedicate 80% of your time to doing your work, and the other 20% to giving your mind a break and doing something else you like. Don't give up on the things you want to accomplish, but if you throw in too much of your force, the quicker you are going to burn yourself out. This is what led me to drop everything I was working on, and the minute I both gave myself grace for mind breaks and rediscovered what I loved and found passionate about writing in the first place, the easier the balance became.

Take a break and get a snack. Take a break and watch Gossip Girl. Your work will still be there when you are done. I promise, gorgeous.

This leads me to...

Spend Some Time Doing Something That You Love, And Allow Yourself To Enjoy It

"But if I read book and no work, then I lazy."

No. No, you are not.

As I said above, recently I have been trying to give myself more grace for taking breaks, and once I tricked my brain into getting back on track, the less guilty I felt about spending time doing random activities here and there.

My First Love: Fire Emblem

Because my mind was in such a low place, I couldn't motivate myself to do anything other than scroll through TikTok on my phone. And there isn't anything wrong with doing that. But at the same time, doing that constantly during my burnout period didn't help when it came to getting my mind back on track. I found myself more lost than ever because I started comparing myself to the people on the internet, which gave me even less motivation to get my priorities in check.

So when I started getting my life back in order, and I reminded myself that it was okay to take breaks and do other things, I spent my time doing little hobbies I knew would help motivate me later. I got back into reading because it reminded me of what I loved about writing. I started cooking and baking because it was not only fun to do, but it reminded me to eat healthier. Taking some time for these things didn't make me lazy, it helped relax my brain, while also boosting my energy levels because I was doing things I enjoyed doing. Going back to moving your body, I also started taking time out of my day to go on walks because the outdoors would heal my soul SO MUCH.

Being Spoiled By Friends Who Are Too Good To Me

But of course, you don't have to do intellectual activities such as reading and physical activity in order to keep your mind in a healthy setting and give it a break. You can literally spend your time doing any hobby you enjoy, and that's amazing! Your mind and soul need to dedicate some time to literally just do anything that it finds freeing. It's okay just to take some time for yourself. I started getting back into playing video games, and while yes, sometimes they can lead to brain rot if you do that and nothing else, I find aimlessly wandering my avatar around my favorite fantasy worlds to be immensely relaxing. Just be sure to take time to do other things. The same goes for reading non-stop or writing non-stop. You're brain will get tired if you don't pull your eyes away once in and while.

You aren't lazy about turning on a video game for relaxing. Give yourself some peace every once in and while, and spend your time doing something that you enjoy doing away from work. I promise you, it's more freeing than it sounds.

Spoil Yourself Every Once In A While

Confidence Is So Darling on You, I Promise

I am a 21-year-old girl who often feels guilty every time I spend money on things aside from rent and groceries. Which is lame, that's so lame.

I want to preface by saying that this isn't me saying to be irresponsible with your money. When my income started becoming more consistent, I fell into that trap, and once I realized that I started becoming self-conscious of everything that I spent. I didn't want to spend money on anything that wasn't for me, because I needed to save in order to pay my bills.

But here's the other side of the coin. Once in a while, it really is okay to do something for you, and that's not something you should be ashamed of. If you see something you like, like a shirt, game, treat, necklace, etc, and you have enough money in your funds, and you also haven't done something for yourself in a long while, you should get the things for yourself because you'll get some sweet oodles out of it.

You, of course, don't want to overspend, but if you just want to give yourself a little reward or a treat, I promise you it's okay. Your brain deserves a reminder that it's doing a good job, and you deserve nice things just as much as anyone else. (I spent $100 on a pink dragon jellycat good grief)

Go Outside

I think this one is pretty self-explanatory, but I swear to everyone who is reading this that you don't understand how life-changing spending a little time outside is until you actually do it, and I also promise you this, a little twenty-minute walk outside your home, an hour reading outside, or just getting some work done in the park can truly and really make all the difference in your energy levels.

I recently discovered that I can not work from home anymore. I mean, sometimes I can, but sometimes I need to work outside the apartment because working next to my bed just makes me want to crawl back into it. I find that going out and surrounding myself with other works helps to put me back in the mindset.

Nature is also just... nature. It's super relaxing and freeing to be in it, and taking five minutes out of your day to go outside can make all the difference in your day. Read outside for the aesthetics of it, and I promise you will not regret it.

Schedule Time With The People You Love.

I recently discovered that I am a very private individual, and I recently learned the art of being my own best friend. In my space of living, I like to be alone because it's my own private space. I can be alone for a few hours, and sometimes a few days, and be perfectly fine.

But during that time, I discovered that I also realized that I am also someone who thrives the best when it comes to being around people. I can not spend too much time in self-isolation, because then I just start to become lonely, and let me tell you something, being alone with your thoughts as a self-deprecating person is not a good combination.

Trust me when I say that as someone with a severe case of social anxiety, it is so hard for me to ask my friends to hang out, but at the same time, you are not a burden just because you send a simple text asking someone to hang out. They are your friends for a reason, they aren't going to get mad at you just because you asked them if they were free.

I used to have the biggest insecurities when it came to my friendships, and part of the reason was that I was trapped in some rather unhealthy ones that failed to teach me the importance of a healthy relationship. Without going into too much detail, this friendship

that fell apart really broke me, and it made me isolate myself because I didn't want to lose anyone else I cared about, and I felt like I was a burden to every single person I loved.

But here's your daily reminder that you are not, and you can't put your fears and insecurities from your previous failed relationships onto your current ones. That is truly how you fall into a downward spiral because you start to overthink every relationship you have. One of the most important lessons I have learned is that you can't fight for a relationship the other person isn't putting any effort into. Putting more love into someone than the other person is exhausting, and it's something I wished I knew more about before I wasted months of my life trying to fix something that wasn't worth it.

It's okay to be selfish. It's okay to focus on you. That doesn't make you any less deserving of affection than anyone else. Your mental health matters just as much.

Cutting out the people who refused to give you the time of day, and focusing your energy on the people who match your energy is the first step to realizing your self-worth. The girls who get you will get you. And take some time to connect with them every once in a while in order to feel like the main character in a teen movie from the 2000s. Human connection is the most important thing in the world, and you need to prioritize spending time with your inner circle just as much as your work and school life.

(shout out to my friends ily)

A Reminder To Give Yourself Grace. (Your Flop Era Is Just as Important As Your Hotgirl Era)

Wow, Holly, all of this sounds so great and dandy, I'm sure by doing this your mind is in such a swaggy state.

Hah! Omg I wish.

So here's the thing about mental health I wish was normalized, because this is something I believed for the longest time. I always had the misconception that once my life was back in order, everything was going to be perfect and dandy for the rest of my life and I wasn't ever going to feel the effects of poor mental health again.

I wish it were that easy, but it's not, and I see way too many people online comfortable with normalizing depression in an unhealthy manner.

The things about depression, anxiety, ADHD, and all other types of mental illnesses, is that while it is certainly treatable, it is not something that's going to disappear with a wave and a wand, and what's frustrating to me is when people who have the wrong idea about what depression is posting online that with a just few simple life hacks, your depression will be cured in just a few months. But again, if it were that easy I think more people would be cute, trendy influencers.

I often was so incredibly hard on myself for not being in the places I wanted my mind to be in, but a journey to a healthier mindset is once again not a linear path, and it takes a lot longer than a few weeks of just doing simple life hacks in order to be okay again, and I think that's because we are often our worst critics, and we are so incredibly hard on ourselves for the tiniest slip-ups.

One downward spiral leads to another, and once we continue spinning we find ourselves back to where we started. They call it a cycle for a reason, because once you're spinning it's hard to stop turning. I remember when I was trying to motivate myself to get better and eat healthily, I had so many slip-ups that I convinced myself that I was incapable of getting my life back on track.

But listen here you absolutely gorgeous human being!

IT IS OKAY TO HAVE A BAD DAY!

IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE PERFECT!

IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY!

Do you know what it means to cry? It means you are a perfectly normal human being who is experiencing a human emotion. It means you are a normal human suffering from a normal reaction to a terrible day or week. At the time I am writing this article, I had my first real breakdown in WEEKS, and that was after a string of consistent good days, because I was just so tired, and fed up with so many terrible things that were out of my control.

And here's something I am trying to remind myself. If I have no control over the outcome of the situation, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about certain things, I am trying to give myself more grace over it. There's a phrase I like to tell myself that simply goes "I can't control this. It's out of my hands and there's nothing left for me to do but wait it out." I think the kinder we are to ourselves, the closer we actually are to getting ourselves back on track.

I'm telling you, confidence is so very attractive.

I think that's the biggest key to taking back control of our lives. Being kinder to ourselves. Finding the strength to look at ourselves in the mirror and telling the girl on the other side that she is worth so much more than what she's been telling herself. It's hyping yourself up on a walk, or when taking a picture and strolling down the street like you absolutely own it. It's being proud of every little step you take, even if you only took a little one.

Part of the reason why I'm slowly rediscovering my motivation comes from literally just telling myself those things. It's rebuilding my self-confidence, but also giving myself comfort and grace when a bad day arrives. I feel like we are way too comfortable villainizing our emotions on bad days, but having a bad day does not mean we are going to have a bad life, and it does not mean everything is never going to be okay again.

I am saying all of this to myself just as much as I am saying it to you. I still struggle with my anxieties about the future, of my job, income, personal life, and honestly, I can go on. But your life is so much more than the one bad day you had, and you deserve to treat yourself with the same kindness as I know you give to other people. That love you constantly devote to those around you, you deserve it just as much.

Really that's the secret to taking back control.

It's reminding yourself that you are just as beautiful to remind others that they are, and you deserve to hear that once in a while too. ♡