“Smile Again”: Feyre Archeron And The Idea Of Love

The “A Court of Thorns and Roses” book series has stabilized itself as one of the most popular series in both the Y/A fantasy genre, but across all book platforms. I think when you ask anyone who’s buried themselves into the book tok rabbit hole what book series comes to mind when you ask them to think of a series, this will normally jump into their heads. In a way it’s the mascot and staple of Y/A fantasy, and there’s already been a noticeable trend in the book community where upcoming books are attempting to emulate it’s style. From the characters, the tropes and the setting. 

As both a writer for fiction and non-fiction, as well as an obsessor over all things Y/A fantasy, the influence of ACOTAR can be spotted all across the genre. Whenever a new book is advertised, you can make a drinking game out of the number of times someone has said “this is kinda like ACOTAR” or “this is the next ACOTAR” and even I won’t sit here and lie by confessing that ACOTAR has definitely had it’s hint of inspiration when it comes to the stories I write. 

Some will argue the take over is a good thing. Others will argue it’s a terrible thing. I’m not here to argue either side as this could be a whole separate essay. What I will come on here and say for now is that ACOTAR has stabilized itself into the fantasy world, and it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. 

Speaking from my own personal bias, it’s easy to see why so many readers adore this series, and I will be upfront about my love for it as well. I mean, what’s not to love about it honestly? A nuanced, relatable female protagonist at the center. A magical world to explore. Fun and complex side characters. Beautiful writing. And of course at the center of it, a thrilling and lustful romance for women of all ages to latch onto while they escape the reality of their own loveless lives. (this isn’t me calling anyone out because this was me insulting myself. I am that girl) 

No can deny that the vocal focus of the ACOTAR book series, both the original trilogy and its spinoffs, is the theme of romance. With the central character Feyre believing she found the love of her life in the character of Tamlin, before finding it elsewhere in the man she never expected to even meet, Rhysand. The core of the romance stems from the idea of blinded first love, where we are so trapped in a desperation to be loved that we often fall for the first person who shows us a glimmer of respect and comfort. The journey Feyre goes through in order to separate the idea of love from a real one is both beautiful while layered with deeply tragic moments, and it all comes from how Sarah J Maas tricks the reader into believing the same way as Feyre, inviting us on the journey alongside her. 

Everyone who has read or experienced ACOTAR in some capacity unanimously agrees that Feyre found her match in the form of Rhysand, and that she is better off not being with Tamlin even if he is trapped in his own delusions and twisted ideas of affection.

 Still, I thought it would be fun to explore the concept of that deeper, and really dive into the headspace of Feyre as she goes on her little journey of love. I think it’s super interesting reading it back and comparing the differences in her relationship with Tamlin vs her one with Rhysand. I constantly hear the argument that Tamlin’s character was assassinated, and while I do believe he was a bit too malicious for my taste (but maybe I was just attached to good-boy Tamlin) when you go back and read through the story you notice that the signs were there from the beginning. 

Not only that, but the mental and tragic headspace of Feyre can also be traced back to the beginning of the story, long before she met either Tamlin or Rhysand. There is another argument that Feyre was too quick to leave Tamlin for Rhysand, or that she was blind to Tamlin’s warning signs in a way that makes her idiotic. 

But my interpretation is that anyone who thinks that way, hasn’t been paying attention to the story. 

Feyre And Her Childhood 

From the very beginning we can see the household that Feyre grew up in was not a healthy one. Her mother died when she was barely a teen, and tasked her with the responsibility of looking after the family, a burden which only became heavier the moment her father lost his fortune after a leg injury, rendering the family poor. 

As the youngest daughter, Feyre was given the responsibility of providing for her family. She taught herself how to hunt so she and her sister’s wouldn’t starve. Her older sisters Elain and Nesta never bothered to carry some of the responsibility, and thus, all the pressure fell to Feyre. If she couldn’t catch anything, then the family would starve for the night. Feyre is freshly nineteen when we first meet her, but even that is such a young age to be carrying the weight of the survival of your entire family. 

Feyre’s burdens essentially separated her from the family. The eldest sister, Nesta, doted on the other sister Elain constantly, worrying about her safety above all else. So while Nesta ensured that Elain could continue tending to their gardens, Feyre was the one who had to keep them alive, a task she only continues with thanks to the promise she made to her mother when she died. 

The protective nature Nesta has over Elain causes Feyre to in a sense feel like the black sheep of the two sisters. She was isolated from the two of them, and while the two of them became close, Feyre had no one to rely on, not even her father, who spent his time rotting in his melancholic mindset. Thus, Feyre retreated into her paintings, which at the time was the only source of comfort she could rely on. 

The hardest aspect of this was the moment the Fae came to take Feyre away after she killed the wolf in the woods. She killed him in order to provide a meal for her family, and after she owned up to it and prepared herself to be taken away, all her sisters could do was sit in silence as she bravely left the home. 

I think everyone who has read ACOTAR, including my first, at first didn’t understand Feyre’s mindset when she first departed when it came to her desperation to return to her home and her family. I think at first we all collectively rolled our eyes everytime Feyre complained that she wanted to go home, because we were just sitting there thinking “but you get to live in a mansion with two hot guys, why go back to the family that didn’t treat you right?” 

But when you actually consider Feyre’s position, this mindset actually makes a ton of sense. Not only did she make a promise to her mother to be the one to look out for her family, and thus she fears they won’t be able to survive without her, but up until now, her family was the only source of comfort she had, and it wasn’t even a good form of one. But even still, the way her father and sisters treated her was all she knew. Feyre at this point, didn’t know what real affection was, and there was a part of her that blamed herself for the treatment she was being given. 

Feyre And Tamlin

The most interesting aspect of Feyre and her romantic relationship with Tamlin comes from looking at it from the perspective of not only who Tamlin becomes, but how Feyre interacts with Rhysand. Upon first glance, the dynamic between Tamlin and Feyre is a sweet one, and Tamlin has enough care for Feyre to want to get her of Amerantha’s games and traps. We see Feyre open up around Tamlin, and he seems sincere enough when he actually sends her back home toward the time when Amerantha is going to take control of his court in order to not risk something happening to her. 

Analyzing these scenes knowing what the future has in the store, the relationship between Feyre and Tamlin takes on a deeper perspective, and the red flags once ignored begin to show clearer signs once we removed the rose colored glasses we once viewed Tamlin from, 

To begin this section, I do believe that Tamlin loved Feyre, and Feyre absolutely did love him in return. But I believe that Tamlin only appreciated the idea of Feyre more than the actual authenticity of her. From the beginning, Tamlin was only using Feyre in order to break the curse on him and his court, and while I do believe that overtime, genuine feelings became attached, what’s important to point out is that even after he made the decision to send her home, dooming his court to prioritize her safety, Tamlin would have continued to use her had she managed to confess and break the curse. And even when she traveled Under the Mountain, Tamlin cared less about keeping her safe, and about using her body for pleasure.

Such a theme is noticeable early on in the book as well, where we see Tamlin taking advantage of her naivety about the Fae world to kiss her, and then have intimate relations with her before sending her to the human lands. Tamlin goes as far as to shift the blame of him biting her since he “warned her”, but even though Tamlin was in his beast form, the blame for her injury still falls on his shoulder since he was the one who brought her to the Spring Court. We see Tamlin deflect every aspect of what falls wrong on her shoulders, and this was noticeable from the start. Such as when she also accidentally got drunk off faerie wine, and who did Tamlin blame for that again? 

We also see from the start that Tamlin had a rough temper with Feyre, getting upset with her for making small mistakes and not taking orders from him. Like I also said, in book one we see him constantly using her for intimacy even when her life is in danger. And all of that stuff is just what I pulled from book one, before he started really acting out. 

But with all of this, you have to wonder why Feyre fell in love with him. Given Feyre’s family situation, it’s easy to understand what happened to her. But I think it is better to allow her to speak for herself. 

“I`m thinking that I was a lonely, hopeless person, and I might have fallen in love with the first thing that showed me a hint of kindness and safety”

Another important thing to understand is that Feyre grew up in an environment that was unaffectionate, and living with Tamlin provided her with something she wasn’t used to. While Tamlin had his moments, they went blind to Feyre because she focused on the good. She focused on the intimacy Tamlin was able to provide her and the sweet words he said. No one had treated her in such a way before, and thus, she was able to confuse such a thing for being loved. 

But it’s not just Feyre who felt and believed this way, it’s us as well. Because we live in Feyre’s head, and she is forcing herself into the mindset that Tamlin is a genuine sweet guy, we the readers are on her side about it, because we are also only seeing the good that Feyre is pointing out. We want everything to work out for her, so like her, we ignore everything that seems bad in the hopes that Feyre can find her happiness. 

No one had ever been in love with Feyre, so Tamlin’s tendency, while we see now that they were controlling and layered with manipulation, seemed heavenly to her because she didn’t know any better. Growing up with a father that never paid attention to her, and sisters that took advantage of her, in a way, Feyre was used to not being seen by anyone, as well as being taken advantage of. Feyre grew up being used by the people around her, only this time she was more subjective to it because she didn’t know it was happening. Her mind had already grown so used to it that she can no longer recognize or see when someone is using her, so she’s more than happy at first to go along with the ride when it comes to being with Tamlin, because at this point she is unable to see that she is being used. 

Of course though, when Tamlin’s toxic layers really start to come out, Feyre starts to see into him. She starts getting sick in the night with nightmares of being under the mountain while Tamlin sleeps soundly, and he starts to lock her inside out of fear that something else will happen to her. All of this is what causes Feyre to reach her breaking point, but even after spending time with Rhysand, she is still in denial about Tamlin’s actions because she believes that he is in love with her, and that someone who doesn't love her wouldn’t do those things. While Feyre is being mentally harmed by Tamlin, she can’t bring herself to see the bad in him still, and she convinces herself that his harm is actually what’s keeping her safe. 

It’s only through the conversations with Rhysand that she is able to see past that unhealthy mindset. While like I said, I do believe that Tamlin did love Feyre, as Rhysand mentions “Love can be a poison”, and that poison is what slowly killed the spark in Feyre. In his desperation to keep her to himself, Tamlin ended up losing her, and chased away the idea of her that he always believed her to be. 

It takes a long while for Feyre herself to see past this and recognize that Tamlin only loved a version of her, and through spending time with someone who actually does see through her, she is able to at last find what a life in love can actually look like. 

Feyre And Rhysand 

The relationship between Rhysand and Feyre is one that starts off rocky at first thanks to her romantic pursuits with Tamlin, and Rhys’s connection to Ameranatha, and his actions Under The Mountain and the bargain he made with her didn’t help things. 

Rhysand on the surface is not someone to be trusted. He keeps many secrets from Feyre and tricks her into a deal she most obviously does not want to take. But similarly to Tamlin, what we think of Rhys comes from the way Feyre is thinking of him, and her own perspective. What we know and think about him comes from her, so our distrust of him comes from what Feyre thinks of him. We are locked from Rhys’s mind, and are unable to know what he’s done for her before the ending arrives. 

When you compare Rhys to Tamlin, it very much is comparing apples to oranges. While Tamlin attempts to hide her from the world, Rhys embraces having her by his side. While Tamlin ignores her cries of pain, Rhys protects and soothes her. While Tamlin blames her for making mistakes, Rhys is more understanding of her mindspace. Rhys takes his time with Feyre, and although he isn’t accepting in her belief that Tamlin is right for her, he doesn’t hold her back from being with him if that’s what she wants, in contrast to Tamlin who sends Lucien and other guards to rip her away from the night court… twice. 

We see Rhysand take his time with Feyre, allowing her to open up to him on her own terms. Unlike Feyre and her first kiss with Tamlin, everything affection, or intimate done with Rhysand is by Feyre’s own free will. She is able to initiate everything, even though her nerves, and Rhysand never pressures her into doing anything, nor does he want to use her unlike Tamlin. This is because Rhysand knows what it is like to be used by someone for sex, and doesn’t dream of doing such an awful thing to the girl he loves. 

Feyre’s mind is in a tricky spot the more time she spends with Rhys. She wants to believe that Tamlin is a good guy, but she eventually has to come to the conclusion that Tamlin isn’t treating her the way she deserves, or needs to be. Even after Feyre gets the strength to leave Tamlin, she doesn’t just immediately start a relationship with Rhysand, and he doesn’t force such a thing upon her either. They both recognize that what she needs is time to heal and process what happened to her, and even though it’s obvious that Rhysand is in love with her, unlike Tamline, he doesn’t force anything upon her. 

Feyre moved in her relationship with Tamlin in a quick manner because of her inability to know what love and affection look like from a romantic relationship standpoint. She jumped into it because it was something she was desperate for. With Rhysand, everything takes its time because Feyre and Rhys not only allow themselves to get to know each other more, but they help each other grow and move past their trauma and what they experience under the mountain. While Tamlin experienced his own trauma thanks to what happened, he never opened up or dealt with it with Feyre. He isolated and shut her out, much like her sisters did. Yet with Rhysand, he allows her to see into what happened to him. He shares his past and his struggles and allows himself to be vulnerable. Such a thing allows Feyre to see what he went through, and what he is still going through. And the honesty helps Feyre see more sides of him that she wasn’t able to see before. 

Vulnerability plays a huge role in helping Feyre and Rhys form a deeper connection with one another. It was something Feyre had never expressed before because her family never allowed her to, and Tamlin never listened to her. Rhys allows her to open up, share the dark sides of her mind that she feared no one would want to see. This in turn helps Rhysand share some of his own, and the back and forth begins of them slowly opening up to each other. 

Rhsyand becomes a safe space for Feyre, as well as his friends. She is able to meet people around the night court, something Tamlin never really allowed her to do, and going out in the town allows to feel a sense of freedom. She is able to laugh, drink, dance, and just live her life as a young woman, rather than just be the pretty princess sitting by Tamlin’s side. There is no longer a pressure on her shoulders, nor are there any burdens. For the first time in her life, Feyre is left without such things. No longer does she need to listen to the commands of anyone, and she can just spend time with people and have fun. 

The Starfall chapter is the most important example of this. A chapter where Feyre goes out into the town with fellows of the Night Court, gets all dressed up in a gorgeous gown, and dances freely without any expectations. She is able to not only open up to Rhysand, but be herself around him in a sweet moment where the two act like kids and throw stars at each other. Everyone who has read the series agrees that this scene is the most romantic aspect of ACOTAR, but it was hard for me to exactly explain why up until this point. This is one of the first moments where we see Feyre express undeniable happiness. She laughs uncontrollably, smiles effortlessly, and is able to feel comfortable and secure for the first time in a long while thanks to the presence and existence of Rhys. She becomes shy around him because she worries about being too much for him, but Rhys never wants to dim her light, leading him to ask her to “Smile again” when Feyre attempts to hide it. 

That line perfectly captures Feyre’s emotions when it comes to spending time with Rhysand. She is able to love and be herself more, and has come to fully understand what it means for someone to see all the sides of you. Rhysand is able to see the good, the bad, and the ugly, and stays by her side nonetheless. 

Feyre and Love 

Part of the reason why I decided to write this essay was because I was a little sick of the misconceptions surrounding Feyre and why she falls out of love with Tamlin and in love with Rhysand. 

Many of what I hear diminishes the mental headspace of Feyre and chops her down to a character that bounces back and forth between men because of their looks and what they can offer when it comes to intimacy. While the jokes about it can be occasionally funny, I feel like overall they bring Feyre’s character down. She didn’t leave Tamlin for Rhys because “the sex was better” . Why she actually fell in love with Rhsyand was because he was someone able to love her throughout every little thing. He was able to provide her with a comfort she never experienced before, and was able to help her understand that nothing that happened to her was her fault. Throughout her traumatic moments and experiences, he stayed with her. Something that Tamlin never did. 

And that’s to say Feyre needed a guy to help her move past her trauma, but love is a powerful thing, and once you experience it, you can learn things about yourself you never would otherwise.

The misconceptions about her character are heartbreaking to see, and it diminishes her to a level of just someone who can’t make her mind, and is crazy about a guy’s body. The experiences Feyre was forced to go through were disheartening, and what’s important to understand about her when it comes to love is that at the beginning, she is unable to recognize what such a thing looks like. Feyre never jumped from Tamlin to Rhys, and understanding why she fell in love with both of them is important in order to understand her as a character. She is someone who went through life unaware of what love and affection look like, and was only able to understand it once someone was able to see every aspect of her, not just the parts they wanted to see. 

The relationship that blooms between Rhysand and Feyre is a breathtaking one. With the two continuing to uplift and help each other throughout the series and being each other's guiding lights. And I think I speak for every ACOTAR fan when I say I can not wait to see how their story reaches its conclusion :)